| Cold coolin at a bar, and I’m lookin for some action
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| But like Mike Jagger said, I can’t get no satisfaction
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| The girls are all around, but none of them want to get with me My threads are fresh and I’m lookin def, yo, what’s up with L-o-see?
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| The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar
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| Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I’m the star
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| So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
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| I asked the guy, «Why you so fly?"he said, «Funky Cold Medina»
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| Funky Cold Medina
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| This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
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| Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls’ll come real quick
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| It’s better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
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| A couple of sips of this love potion, and she’ll be on your lap
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| So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
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| Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg
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| He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
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| But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina
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| You know what I’m sayin?
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| I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door
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| I got Spuds McKenzie
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| Alex from Stroh’s
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| They won’t leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal
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| I went up to this girl, she said, «Hi, my name is Sheena»
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| I thought she’d be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
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| She said, «I'd like a drink,"I said, «Ehm — ok, I’ll go get it»
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| Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
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| But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
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| So I threw him out, I don’t fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
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| You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
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| You know, ain’t no plans with a man
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| This is the 80's, and I’m down with the ladies
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| Ya know?
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| Break it down
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| Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection
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| I took a shot as a contestant on _The Love Connection_
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| The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
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| I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner
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| She had a few drinks, I’m thinkin soon what I’ll be gettin
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| Instead she started talkin 'bout plans for our weddin
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| I said, «Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I’ll be seein ya»
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| That’s why I found you don’t play around with the Funky Cold Medina
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| Ya know what I’m sayin
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| That Medina’s a monster, y’all
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| Funky Cold Medina |