Testi Strip Club Dummy - Jamie Kennedy, Stu Stone

Strip Club Dummy

That Gucci dress, that Prada bra
I wanna see, your ta ta tah
She stayed away from stages — told her friends they was brainless
Maintained it — and stayed a waittress
Grew tired of makin minimum wages
Decided to take her clothes off to get famous
Well that didn’t work out, she ended up on — stages
Collectin — wages, dancin — naked for strangers
Lesson on pages — that’s where I come in and the story really begins
Don’t want to ruin the ending — before she wins
It started out on the let’s be friends tip
A 20, a 50, anything under a Ben tip
She’s sittin on your lap — you’re shootin the shit, you’re catchin the breeze
Leanin forward, and ready to leave
She stops and drops and rubs on your knees
Whispers in your ear «Hey boy — come follow me» — ohhh
You wanna go, yet you would agree
Little do you know, this chick’s got tricks up her sleeve
Your wallet’s tellin you you outta cash
She’s tellin you they got an ATM stashed somewhere in the back
She bends down, showin you the asscrack
Looks back, «Ohh ahh boy you know you wanna slap that»
You agree fast, PIN number, cash fast
The relationship between you and your money doesn’t last
Too long, pull out three hundred and pass it along
Pay for song. now she’s in a thong
«Ooh boy you be a gentleman, hands under the seat»
«And if you be a good boy I might give you a treat»
Now she leans in and she’s bein discrete
«For three hundred more I guarantee you cum in your seat» — whoa
Well gee that sounds neat, but kinda messy
She covered my mouth and started to undress me
With that look in her eyes, she parted her thighs, and grinded on my jeans
Damn I hate jeans, why the hell did I wear jeans!
Ahhh, she’s screamin out in ecstasy
And now her left breast sittin right next to me and
She reaches down and she grabs Steve-o
Gives it a heave-ho, and now she’s makin Steve go and me moan
«I know you like it slow, I know you want more»
It’s back to the ATM and pull out 4
Back in the booth, she’s naked grindin, grabbin on the rails
DJ’s playin «funk you like an animal» by Nine Inch Nails
«You wanna touch it» uhh, you grab her breast
She grabs D, you scream, she screams AHH!
«You fuckin pervert, you better leave»
You say what the fuck you mean!
«This ain’t no dream, I’m callin Chi Chi»
The bouncer’s rushin in sayin «What's goin on man»
You reply, «I don’t know, I paid for the song man!»
«You got it wrong, what you need to do is move the fuck on»
And like that she’s gone, and so is your money
Hope you learned this lesson from me
Don’t be a strip club dummy~!
— repeat 2X
Strip clubs are evil, wait for the sequel