| Right, now you up on your feet |
| You can listen to Big Nine |
| Polly Flinders sat by the cinders |
| Warming her pretty feet |
| A spark flew out, she gave out a shout |
| 'Cause it, burnt her on her country seat |
| Tom-tom the pipers sung |
| Was always gay and hearty |
| He met three fairies, on the road |
| They’d been to a goblin party |
| The queen of hearts had a baby |
| They fired guns and had a feast |
| But when a quite girl was pregnant |
| They went and fired the priest |
| Rub a dub dub, Ted’s out in his tub |
| Left all his troubles behind |
| Plays five finger tunes on his organ |
| If h, don’t stop soon, he’ll go blind |
| Little Miss Muffet has grown up |
| Gon are her frills and frocks |
| She’s into Bowie and The Osmonds |
| And all other types of hard rock |
| Judge Dread he went streaking |
| Into a lady’s den |
| She said, what’s that you got hanging |
| He said, it’s only my big ten |