| Zeke, you dirty so and so, I wanna talk to you, Zeke.
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| You ain’t no good, and I ain’t no refrigerator.
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| I can’t keep nothin'. | 
| Pay attention to me.
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| Now listen, old man, you and me been friends for a long time,
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| and up 'til now we’ve been gettin' along just fine. | 
| But there’s a few
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| little things I gotta pull your coat about. | 
| You pay attention to me and we ain’t gonna fall out.
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| I work nights and I think you’ve been very kind comin' over and
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| stayin' with my wife all the time. | 
| But must you use my razor blades?
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| Buy some, they’re only a dime. | 
| You call that friendship?
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| And stop doin' them little dirty tricks like jammin' the chair up against the door. | 
| You kept me out last night until half past four.
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| I know you didn’t mean any harm, but that’s enough to make anybody sore.
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| You call that friendship?
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| What about that night you came and took my wife to the show? | 
| I asked her
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| what movie she saw and she said she didn’t know. | 
| I told her she couldn’t see so good,
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| so don’t sit back that far no more. | 
| (You ain’t no good). | 
| That’s right, Zeke,
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| you ain’t no good.
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| Now I don’t get mad like the average cat would do, when she buys me a shirt
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| and she buys you two. | 
| But when she feeds you chicken and steak, and give me Irish stew,
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| you’re a lizard in the bushes, that’s what you are, that’s what you are.
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| And you stop feedin' her that candy and sweet stuff to eat. | 
| That jive is makin'
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| her talk in her sleep. | 
| She kept me awake all last night mumblin' your name
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| and sayin' «sure is sweet».
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| You ain’t no friend of mine, Zeke. | 
| No friend of mine. | 
| But I will tell you, Zeke,
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| I’m real happy. | 
| I’m happy as can be about that big insurance policy you and my wife took
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| out on me. | 
| But what’s all that arsenic doin' round the house? | 
| That’s what I can’t see. | 
| Zeke,
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| you tryin' to poison something? | 
| That’s what you don', you tryin' to poison
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| somethin'.
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| And what about that night I came home and caught that lipstick on your face.
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| Yo and my wife broke up the fun and your wrastlin' all over the place.
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| And you told me you’s playin' Cowboy and Indian and you was Chief Rain In the Face.
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| You don’t look like
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| no Indian to me, but I’m gonna scalp ya. | 
| That’s what’s gonna happen.
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| I’m gonna scalp ya.
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| And even when we went on our honeymoon, the bell boy told me you rented the
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| very next room.
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| I know you my friend, but I didn’t wanna see you that soon. | 
| Don’t you never
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| speak to me no more,
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| Zeke. | 
| do you call that friendship? | 
| (No! No!) You ain’t no friend of mine. |