Testo Marshall vs. the Machines - Jason Segel

Marshall vs. the Machines

Gather round, ye children
To hear the tale so sweet
Of a man who dared to race machines
With nothing but his feet
With hair of auburn beauty
A hero dressed in jeans
He’s fighting for America
Marshall!
Versus the machines…
Hah!
Doom-ba-da-dee-dee-dee-dee-fleegeedoo-flim-flam-doo-da-deegedeedoo
As Marshall ran with all his might
And passed his friend, Christine
He thought of all the times that he had
Beaten the machine:
He triumphed over Pitfall
He vanquished the alarm
He brought the jukebox back to life
With his Fonzarelli arm
Marshall!
Versus the machines…
Yah!
Move along! Yah!
Move along! Yah!
Our hero’s strength was fading fast
Just as the light turnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn… ed green
He then thought back to all the times
He’d lost to a machine:
The cable box’s fearsome bite
The stapler’s mighty sting
The cable box’s bite again
Getting too tired
To sing…