| I make my living off the evening news, |
| Just give me something that I can use. |
| People love it when you lose, |
| They love dirty laundry. |
| Well I could have been an actor, |
| But I wound up here. |
| I just have to look good, |
| I don’t have to be clear. |
| Come and whisper in my ear, |
| We need dirty laundry. |
| Kick 'em when they’re up, |
| Kick 'em when they’re down. |
| Kick 'em when they’re up, |
| Kick 'em when they’re down. |
| Kick 'em when they’re up, |
| Kick 'em when they’re down. |
| Kick 'em when they’re up, |
| Kick 'em all around. |
| We got the bubble-headed bleach blonde, |
| Comes on at five, |
| She can tell ya 'bout the plane crash, |
| With a gleam in her eye. |
| It’s int’resting when people die, |
| Give us dirty laundry. |
| Can we film the operation? |
| Is the head dead yet? |
| Y’know the boys in the newsroom, |
| Got a running bet. |
| Get the widow on the set, |
| We need dirty laundry. |
| You don’t really need to find out |
| What’s going on, |
| You don’t want to know just |
| How far it’s gone, |
| Just leave well enough alone, |
| Keep your dirty laundry. |
| Kick 'em when they’re up, |
| Kick 'em when they’re down. |
| Kick 'em when they’re up, |
| Kick 'em when they’re down. |
| Kick 'em when they’re up, |
| Kick 'em when they’re down. |
| Kick 'em where they sit, |
| Kick 'em all around. |
| Dirty little secrets, |
| Dirty little lies, |