| AA makes Scientology look Credible. |
| It’s–it’s at least– Scientology or any fucking Mormons or
|
| Christians or Muslims, at least the major cult Religions have a consistent Dogma where AA is so
|
| splatter Shot and made up on the fly. |
| AA tells you to make up your own God if you don’t already
|
| have a God. |
| The big book of AA–I grew up In AA, and I believed all this Shit was true. |
| My mother
|
| was in AA, so as a kid Doing homework in the back of Meetings listening to this shit. |
| There’s a
|
| chapter to the Agnostic in the big book, their Bible, and you’d go oh, oh Chapter to the agnostic,
|
| this Will teach you how to use this Program as a reasonable grown-up Adult human being. |
| No,
|
| they don’t do that. |
| No, the chapter to the agnostic Tells you how to stop being Agnostic and start
|
| believing in A little bit of god, you Stubborn little fella. |
| You gotta believe in him. |
| And it tells you if
|
| you don’t Already have a god, make up your Own, and you go, “I’m a drunk. |
| I can’t even make up
|
| a good Excuse for why I pissed in the Sock drawer last night.” |
| This is probably– (audience cheers
|
| and applauds) Probably–probably not a good Time for me to be creating Omnipotent deities that
|
| I will Lay my life down before for the Rest. |
| you’re our god, Doug. |
| me a god, yes, yes, and you Are
|
| my fucking Satan. |
| First step of aa, you have to Admit that you’re powerless over Alcohol and that
|
| your life has Become unmanageable, and then They go onto the next step Which you have to
|
| turn your life And your will over to a power Higher than yourself. |
| And you go, “I was a
|
| Freethinking atheist coming Into this bullshit, but since I Went along with you on that First step
|
| on a goof where I’m Powerless over alcohol, I guess Then by default, alcohol would Have to be
|
| my only higher power, So… (audience cheers and applauds) I’ll go with the–I’ll go with Vodka, I
|
| guess. |
| If I am to be a monotheist and Pick just one, I will go with Vodka. |
| It’s a good all occasions.
|
| It mixes well in the morning With a nice citrus beverage. |
| Makes a good Christmas drink With
|
| neighbor dave and evil e. |
| The people say, well, what’s– You know, what’s the big deal?” |
| And by
|
| people, I mean all you shitheads on my Facebook page That every time I say something Anti-AA
|
| or pro-Charlie Sheen Or anti dr. |
| Drew– “Stanhope, I’m normally with you On, you know, most of
|
| everything You say, but you really–you’re Off the–off the mark on this. |
| Drug abuse is a really
|
| serious Problem. |
| It’s a serious issue. |
| So what’s the problem if someone Has to believe in a higher
|
| power To get them through?” |
| That’s not the problem! |
| The problem is when a medical
|
| Professional who is on every Goddamn night on the fucking News is telling you, you have a
|
| Disease that’s not a disease, And he’s telling you the cure is a god that doesn’t exist. |
| It’s a big
|
| fucking problem. |
| What’s your problem? |
| What’s your problem? |
| So what? |
| It’s a problem. |
| It’s a
|
| problem of the earth. |
| I got bladder cancer and you’re Applying leeches instead of Doing
|
| research. |
| (laughter) It’s a huge problem. |