| finally I am so high I can no longer see the Earth below
|
| above, the sky is neither black or blue, there are no stars.
|
| but I am high enough. |
| I can hear them, the voices clearly, as clear as a bell
|
| of fire, as clear as a window in the sun.
|
| I hear them.
|
| they are saying, «beware. |
| stay on the ground or you will become lost, as we are.
|
| lost…»
|
| (kicked in the window, threw the door behind me, and ran. still, it was no good.
|
| the air kept following me, mercilessly.
|
| I tried turning corners, faster than slower, until I almost run into myself.
|
| I knew there was no hope.
|
| my lungs filled my head, dying and eager for silence, the perfect breathe.
|
| the air knew I could not resist.
|
| flesh is weak, but is weakness always bad? |
| weakness serves to glorify,
|
| to ennoble, to sanctify.)
|
| (gary) she always told me to stay away from the pit. |
| she would tell me that if
|
| I wanted to keep my life from being any single color I had best be strong,
|
| and when she died I began to dig for her as well.
|
| the deeper I dug the stronger I got. |
| (my addiction shining like quicksilver
|
| along the ropes inside my arms.) I had dug so deep that all the world was a
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| velvet black.
|
| (turning even less than black.) then I unearthed the Goddess. |
| I took the
|
| Goddess home and though she treated me badly my addiction turned from strength
|
| to love. |
| she disappeared as I held her, the air as clear as quartz and rhythm.
|
| it was then that I noticed my thin charred arms, fading. |
| now I go back to the
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| hole, feeding the earth, the grave song and cinder, I go to speak with my child,
|
| like dust on a moth’s wing.
|
| (my flesh white pink fumbles that I am flesh. flesh is weak, flesh is weak,
|
| flesh is weak as air pushes into consume and elevate.
|
| what I need is new eyes, new eyes to battle the conceit that death may be
|
| salvation, new eyes and a vacuum.
|
| knowing what I want, knowing I need, the perfect air follows, carving a hunger,
|
| I sigh, gasping red and screaming, longing to breathe.) |