| Hello sir, can I check your bag please?
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| Yeah yeah yeah, go on, go on, go on, go on
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| Can I ask where you’re going?
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| I’m going to Barbados just to see the island for a couple days
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| Ohhh, you like to travel?
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| Yeah, you know I like a bit of sightseein' and stuff
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| Just wanna go and see Barbados really
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| Alright, hold on a minute
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| Yo, you check the boy there?
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| I’m doing it now Wellan
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| Ey boy, you got drugs haulin' off
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| What d’you mean officer? |
| I don’t carry nothin' nowhere
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| Hold on Wellan, let me check the (?)
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| Ey boy, stand up there (?)
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| Can I see your passport please, sir?
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| Yeah, let me just get it out the bag wait a sec, sec
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| Here, here
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| Yo this boy (?)
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| Ey boy, we gotta take a urine test now
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| Um, 'ello mate, what it is is
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| We do these checks because uh, there’s a lot uh, you know
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| There’s a lot of drugs going back and forth and that
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| So uh, step this way
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| And we’re gonna uh, take a sample of your urine
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| Alright alright mate, so you’re a police officer from England then
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| And you just work up there?
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| Yeah yeah yeah, what it is is we help out with immigration
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| As you know, there’s a lot of people doing this sort of thing
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| So we have to make sure that it’s all sorted
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| Yeah I know what you mean
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| You know, like make sure no one ain’t slippin' through
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| With anything that they shouldn’t be, you know how it is
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| Anyway son, I’m sure you, I’m sure you
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| Yeah yeah yeah, I know I know I know I know
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| Sure you know
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| Okay then, so would you like to take um
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| A sample of your urine into this tube
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| And then uh, when you finish, the sink’s there
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| Wash your hands, and um, yeah
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| Give us back the tube
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| Okay okay okay, cool
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| Here you go, officer, there’s the tube
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| Okay son would you like to take a seat in there?
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| Yeah
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| And um, give us like a minute or two (Okay, okay)
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| And I’ll get back with the results
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| And then um, hopefully we can get you on this flight
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| And you’ll go to Barbados and uh, everything will be sorted
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| You know (Yeah, exactly) A little bit of sightseein'
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| Wouldn’t ya?
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| Defo man, that was the main aim, you know what I mean?
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| I come to Jamaica but I just wanted to pop over to Barbados
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| But yeah, alright, sort that out for me cool
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| Okay mate, um, what’s happened is
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| You are 69.7 percent THC level
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| So um, yeah, you you
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| Do you smoke weed, at all?
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| Yeah I smoke weed officer, to be honest with you
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| I do smoke weed, I’m not gonna lie, you know what I mean?
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| I’ll have a puff here and there
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| Okay cause what it is, is, um, usually what they wanna do
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| Is run you up the hospital, you know uh, go to the
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| Kingston, the uh, the hospital and uh
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| What they’ll do is an x-ray, because uh, they
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| Think that you’ve swallowed some class A
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| Nah man, I ain’t done that
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| Officer I told ya, I smoke weed bro, and that is what I do
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| I’m not, uh
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| Right now, I just wanna go over to Barbados and do a bit
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| Of sightseein' you get me?
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| See if I might see Rihanna, if it’s possible
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| Hahahahaha, I hear ya son but let me have a talk
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| With my pal in there, because as I said anyway
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| We’ll have a talk, and if he gives it the go ahead
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| We’ll let you go this time, but just to let you know
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| If you do smoke weed, when you know you’re gonna fly
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| Don’t really smoke, because then, obviously
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| If they see ya, or if they look in your eyes and it looks
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| A bit red, they’re obviously gonna do one of these checks
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| And one of these checks could obviously mean you go up
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| The hospital, and they do the x-ray, and obviously
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| That’ll waste your time a bit, but, hold on a sec man
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| Let me sort this
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| Okay okay, cool cool cool
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| Okay Richard, you’re free to go
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| As I said next time, don’t, um
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| Get, erm, stay away from the weed
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| When you’re about to fly cause obviously
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| You don’t want to get caught up in one of these checks
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| Okay son? |
| See you later, have a nice flight
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| Have a nice time in Barbados, and if you see Rihanna
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| Tell her I said hi (Hahahaha) Wouldn’t ya?
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| I will mate, I will, thanks, see ya later
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| Fucking prick |