| I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again.
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| This happens all the time--it's detachable
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| (Detachable penis)
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| This comes in handy a lot of the time. |
| I can leave it home when I think it’s
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| gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don’t need it.
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| But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can’t for
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| the life of me remember what I did with it
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| First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it. |
| So I called up the
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| place where the party was; |
| they hadn’t seen it either
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| I asked them to check the medicine cabinet, 'cause for some reason I leave it
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| there sometimes, but not this time
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| So, I told them if it pops up to let me know. |
| I called a few people who were at
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| the party, but they were no help either
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| I was starting to get desperate. |
| I really don’t like being without my penis for
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| too long; |
| it makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit
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| down every time I take a leak
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| After a few hours of searching the house and calling everyone I could think of,
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| I was starting to get very depressed. |
| So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
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| Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark’s Place, where all those
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| people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a
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| blanket next to a broken toaster oven. |
| Some guy was selling it--I had to buy it
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| off him. |
| He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen
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| I took it home, washed it off and put it back on. |
| I was happy again. |
| Complete.
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| People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don’t
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| know--even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable
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| penis
|
| (Detachable penis) |