| Two men sittin' in straight back chairs
|
| Feet propped up on the railin'
|
| Sittin' in front of the country store
|
| Discussin' how the crops were failin'
|
| About that time a car drove by
|
| With an Ace Insurance bumper sticker
|
| Well, that must be the man been courtin' Abell
|
| He’s somethin' of a city slicker
|
| (Ah, you can tell just in the way he’s drivin' that car)
|
| Do you reckon he’s goin' up to see Abell?
|
| You know her daddy went to Maben this day
|
| And her momma’s been in Arkansas with her ailin' pa
|
| Ain’t nobody home that way
|
| (Ha, ha, 'cept Abell)
|
| Now, I don’t mean nothin' by what I say
|
| But if you won’t say it, I can
|
| She ain’t got no bid’ness alone
|
| With that Ace Insurance man
|
| (Why they’s just no tellin' what might happen)
|
| People ought to keep an eye on they’re kids
|
| You remember 'bout Abby McGuinness
|
| Why’t like’t killed her ma when she found out about it
|
| Course, I know it ain’t none of my bid’ness
|
| But uh, well, if it was me, but if it was me
|
| Well, It might be too late and it would be a pity
|
| Better call up the sheriff in Calhoun City
|
| And have the preacher organize a 'vestigatin' committee
|
| To see what’s goin' on
|
| (Yes, sir and we better hurry)
|
| Tearin' down the road in a pickup truck
|
| With Begley out takin' the lead
|
| Followed by a tractor and a half-lame mule
|
| Dust flyin' as they picked up speed
|
| Faces beamin' goodness and their jaw’s set hard
|
| Good people just doin' what’s right
|
| And off in the distance was Abell’s house
|
| And there wasn’t a soul in sight
|
| Aw, I coulda told you
|
| (Oh, I just knew it)
|
| Now, the gravel was flyin' as they turned the bend
|
| And screeched to a grindin' halt
|
| They went through the fence, into the flower bed
|
| And hit Pa’s first prize hog in the head
|
| And left half a dozen Mama’s chickens for dead
|
| But it wasn’t nobody’s fault
|
| Oh, look at Harvey’s prize hog
|
| And all of them darlin' old grown bad chickens
|
| (We got more important things to tend to, boy)
|
| I wonder if they’re covered?
|
| Committee bounded on the front porch
|
| To meet the enemy face to face
|
| When Abell yelled at 'em through the screen door
|
| «Y'all messed up my Daddy’s place»
|
| In her hand she waved a policy
|
| Said with a Mona Lisa grin
|
| «Well, y’all timed that one just about right
|
| 'Cause Ace done struck again, a-heh» |