Testi Dixie - Caskey

Dixie

You know that I am sorry momma\nI never meant to hurt you\nI never meant to make you cry\nI only wanna see you smile\nYou know that I am sorry momma\nI never meant to hurt you\nI never meant to make you cry\nI only wanna see you smile\nGrowing up wasn’t a kid they believed would prosper\nBack when dad was getting scripts from a crooked doctor\nBack when I was reading scripts from the book of vodka\nI used to keep a half a zip in my student locker\nOlder sis was expelled\nWent to school at Excel\nWith all the other bad kids\nMade it hard to excel\nI was 15 when Ben taught me how to inhale\nStopped praying then 'cause I was used to living in hell\nBurnt like sage but I wasn’t on an Indian trail\nBefore we ever went to jail was getting plenty of bales\nBack before your favorite rapper albums lyrics were stale\nI kept my clientele small out of fear they would tell\nI used to run with the drug dealers\nFelt like they was big brothers\nAfter Pop’s died I had to eat so I skipped supper\nBumper car love\nBetween us there’s a big buffer\nRunning from your own pain just made your kids suffer\nLeaving my crib went on a comma chase\nNever justified the tears put on my momma’s face\nI swear she cried for a year straight\nTryna hold this family together\nBut my hands were like clear tape\nEasy to break\nStraight face cuz a smile wasn’t easy to fake\nAnd mistakes were a dime a dozen, easy to make\nPut this pill bottle felt like concrete, it wasn’t easy to shake\nSorry Momma\nI never meant to hurt you\nI never meant to make you cry\nI only wanna see you smile\nYou know that I am sorry Momma\nI never meant to hurt you\nI never meant to make you cry\nI only wanna see you smile\nI saw the look of fear was overtaking my moms\nWhen I signed to Birdman the studio full of Dons\nAnd drugs piled next to the interface intercom\nSecond guessing what type of person I would become\nShe had a skepticism that wasn’t easily won\nFrom growing up in a trailer and getting beat like a drum\nAlcoholic parents abusing her like it’s fun\nThey died never even acknowledging what they’d done\nAnd then she met my pops her fate was already spun\nHe moved her up out the trailer and that was where they begun\nChanged her life, gave her a daughter then had a son\nVowed to keep her safe she had nowhere she could rain\nAnd then one day after the smoke had filled up his lungs\nHe lost half his hand at work in an accident\nGot introduced to the Oxycontin to numb\nThen started getting high with my sister, my mom was done\nRealizing that he had tossed it all he was stunned\nThe heaviness of his sins was weighing on him a ton\n4/20 I left to school to roll me a blunt\nHe went upstairs, said his goodbyes with a smoking gun\nSee me and drugs got such a painful way we entangle\nWe try to dance round with the devil and twist our ankle\nI try to take a look at my life from different angles\nBut seems like everybody I love leave me for angels\nFor making music and having fans I’m more than thankful\nI toured around the country, got reasons I should be grateful\nBut every time I did drugs with them I felt shameful\nKnowing this the reason my momma suffer\nLosing everybody that she love to downers and uppers\nNever strong enough to kick it for her I gotta be tougher\nVowed to never take you through the rain or ever end up the same\nBefore I die, you gonna be proud of me mother\nI love you\nSorry momma\nI never meant to hurt you\nI never meant to make you cry\nI only wanna see you smile\nYou know that I am sorry momma\nI never meant to hurt you\nI never meant to make you cry\nI only wanna see you smile