Testo I Ain’t Done - Slaine

I Ain’t Done

I been caught up in the darkness and my anger and my hatred
I close my eyes and see myself hanging in the basement
Dangling my legs, veins straining in my head
Blood draining in the tub, drowning in it
I been down in it: the mud
I mean down in it: the dirt
I mean really down in it, lost and found in it berserk
I’ve been burned by the fire, scorched by the flame
Of my own sins and desires so I call them by their names
When they come, greed, gluttony, sloth, envy, and lust
They’re all enemies but they act so friendly with us
They roll with two other guys we call wrath and pride
Now I’m half as high as I am low
I can laugh and cry at the same time but I can’t slow
Down feeling manicy, panicky, full of anarchy
Can it be so simple to get rid of them with Ritalin?
I’m trying to get into Heaven cutting out the middleman
Every time I drift away I see myself dead and buried in the cemetery
Accidentally staring at the sun
Shining through the filthy glass windows
Broken bottles in the bedsheets dangle bloody naked with a gun
I’m living in this tiny-ass room with the mattress on the floor
And an ashtray, look what I’ve become
Light up a half-sniped cigarette and take my last swig of liquor
Smoke the filter down down till it’s done
But I ain’t done
I’m cold-blooded, stuck with the spirit of Hell frozen
Here’s a hole inside my soul, my fear and my self-loathing
Got me hallucinating that all my walls are closing in (Closing in)
I think I’m losing my grip, there it goes again
These demons live inside of me, they talk to me and lie to me
Whisper homicidally, I’m trying to get them out of me
But I can see the side of me, it’s just becoming clearer
I’m starting to hate the sight of me, I break the fucking mirror
Please Jesus just just just listen to my prayer if you can please
I’m believing that these distances I’ve gone too far to leave
I’m breathing in the sickness this addiction and disease
This mess I’m in, this vicious is my missus and my mistresses
I’m twisted and ballistic, I’m addicted to this world
Forgive me for the pain that I’ve inflicted on my girl
And my son, I was stuck holding his bottle and a gun
And I couldn’t get away where I was from
Every time I drift away I see myself dead and buried in the cemetery
Accidentally staring at the sun
Shining through the filthy glass windows
Broken bottles in the bedsheets dangle bloody naked with a gun
I’m living in this tiny-ass room with the mattress on the floor
And an ashtray, look what I’ve become
Light up a half-sniped cigarette and take my last swig of liquor
Smoke the filter down down till it’s done
But I ain’t done