| Happy haunting ground, happy haunting ground
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| They don’t talk or act like you do
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| Happy haunting ground, happy haunting ground
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| No they sure don’t look like you
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| Who, what, when, where and why everyday
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| Identify every disease
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| I drew a blank in my language
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| And latin and Spanish and Greek
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| Thrown out, thrown out so happy at first
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| I danced 'til I wore out my shoes
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| Now I’m in trouble I know it
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| Please let me back in to school
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| Back in the happy haunting ground
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| Where all around are fair, fair game
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| I need the happy haunting ground
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| 'Cause all around it’s not the same
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| How to say it, and not to offend
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| Well, you’re still inside it’s OK
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| As soon as a girl leaves the refuge
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| Out go the reason they’re great
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| Hips are spreading, and never a smile
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| They always demand that they drive
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| Well, I’ve got to get back inside there
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| Back where at least they are alive
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| (CHORUS)
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| Happy haunting ground, happy haunting ground
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| They can sort of dance like you do
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| Happy haunting ground, happy haunting ground
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| But they just can’t last like you
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| Some are coming to learn how to read
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| Others to learn how to write
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| But I want a better selection
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| It’s larger but poorer outside
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| It’s fair fair game inside etc.
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| (CHORUS)
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| It’s fair fair game inside etc.
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| (CHORUS) |