| Thin and unshaved, drunk and mysterious |
| Ooh, I must say lifestyle is curious |
| With a little touch of the sniffles and filthy socks |
| Gnawed, crumbled fingernails never doing tomahawk chops |
| A flaky head dandruff is distinguished |
| Lacquer is red vain is the varnish |
| What is at the root of this |
| She’ll say, whatcha got |
| What participle do you possess |
| She’ll say, which I have not |
| One blustery day |
| We rode out to the meadowlands |
| We saw and were amazed |
| Then hauled it back into town again |
| Mississippi is a mess sometimes |
| And not only when it rains |
| How come you went back to that malaria island |
| 'cause our friendship is strained |
| Those were the days when you were so cosmopolitan |
| These are the days, my letters they’re so maudlin |
| I wrote you an eloquent postcard once |
| About this most exquisite onion soup |
| But of course I never mailed though |
| 'cause it was your turn in the loop |
| Those were the days when you were so cosmopolitan |
| These are the days, my letters they’re increasingly maudlin |