| Old friend, it’s been so long, and it’s been so real
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| And if I helped you once it was no big deal
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| Too bad, I can’t be there when they call your name
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| They’re going to write you down in the hall of fame
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| You really got to what you wanted, I’m thrilled as pie
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| It really couldn’t happen to a nicer guy
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| Put it there pal, put it there
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| Now and then just throw me a crumb
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| Put it there pal, put it there
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| Thanks for the help when I needed it, chum
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| You saw me drowning, you said I was a fake and laughed
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| Then you jumped right in and used me for a raft
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| You shot me down with friendly fire
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| You were all dressed up to play gun for hire
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| The rope you threw me was made of barbed wire
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| But put it there pal, put it there, pal, put it there
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| I know you mean well, call me a sentimental fool
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| I know sometimes you’ve got to be kind to be cruel
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| When you pat me on the back, that was quite some slap
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| That kind of compliment, it could kill a chap
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| So I’ll drink your health, oh, this emotion’s given me a thirst
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| But maybe, I’ll have my food taster, drink it first
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| Put it there pal, put it there
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| You deserve everything you got coming
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| Put it there pal, put it there
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| Call me up if you want to come slumming
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| Some say, you’re a rattlesnake in the grass
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| But I say the sun shines out of your arse
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| So it’s no hard feelings, live and let live
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| With a gift like yours, you’re born to give
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| You’re so full of love, it leaks out like a sieve
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| So put it there, pal, put it there, pal
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| Put it there, put it there
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| Put it there, put it there, pal
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| Put it there, pal, put it there, pal |