| «Howdy, folks. |
| This next song is a story of a gal who just
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| Couldn’t choose between to fellers. |
| One was about the nicest
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| Guy you ever met, and the other one, well, he’s kind of a
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| Dick. |
| Let’s listen in as these boys settle it the only way
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| They know how; |
| through singing. |
| And a 1, and a 2… «Make a choice — will it be
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| A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
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| Or a guy like me?
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| I would comfort you when you’re sad
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| Well, I would just leave you crying
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| I would protect you if a lion attacked you
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| Not trying to fuck with no lion
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| I would fight a man for your honor
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| I don’t know no kung fu
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| I’d carry you across a muddy field
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| Bitch, these Jordans are new
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| Make a choice — will it be
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| A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
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| Or a guy like me?
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| I would read you romantic poetry
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| I’ll leave that shit on the shelf
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| My love making would be sweet and tender
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| This thing ain’t sucking itself, no
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| I would take you to the finest restaurants
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| Here’s an old Baby Ruth
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| I would tell you how pretty you look tonight
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| And I would tell you the truth
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| Make a choice — will it be
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| A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
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| Or a guy like me?
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| But ba-by, baby
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| The choice is up to you
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| So pick me quickly
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| 'Cause I’ve got shit to do
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| It’s true dear, I do dear
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| I want you to be mine
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| But let’s be clear here
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| I’m still not fighting no lion…
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| «Let's see what happens next…
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| Every day I’d say how much I love you
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| … I would not
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| I’d surprise you with gifts and flowers
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| I’d spend your money on pot, yeah
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| We would stay up all night just talking
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| I’d fall asleep when I came
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| I’d spell your name out with a thousand rose petals
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| I don’t remember your name!
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| Make a choice — will it be
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| A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
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| Or a guy like me?
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| Make a choice — will it be
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| A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
|
| Or a guy like me?
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| «See? |
| I told you he was kind of a dick.» |