| I’m gonna make you sweat
|
| The way a pig sweats on a hot day
|
| 'Cos I’m feeling real sexy baby
|
| Real Sexy, ohh yeah!
|
| That’s right, I’m gonna put me a sexy video on
|
| I’m gonna massage some oil into my body baby
|
| 'Cos I’m gonna get tight with you
|
| Yeah
|
| One time
|
| I wanna take you to Mcdonalds with a candle
|
| Girl, it’s my love you can’t handle
|
| I see you walking on the way home from work
|
| Your Tesco tunic really drives me berserk
|
| I’m for real — it ain’t no quirk
|
| My love is lurking the way a rapist would lurk
|
| In a bush, or a car park in town
|
| I bought you this necklace
|
| It cost me 12 pounds
|
| From Argos, Elizabeth Duke
|
| Maybe you’re the Skywalker to my Luke
|
| The Darth to the Vader
|
| Flip Over the Crossfader
|
| I’ll serenade you with a bag of Space Raiders
|
| Or Walkers or Smiths or maybe even Quavers
|
| 'Cos my love for you is like drugs for ravers
|
| With glowsticks and funny hats on
|
| I loves you more than I loves my bong
|
| (Fantasy!)
|
| You and me baby
|
| …baby
|
| Oh you fucking knows I love you right
|
| But the thing is it’s like this
|
| You see, I can feel it inside
|
| I can’t explain how it feels
|
| My sexual love is for real
|
| Girl you knows it’s true, like Milli Vanilli
|
| I’ll buy you ten fags on a daytrip to Caerphilly
|
| I’m after your heart, Oh don’t you see
|
| And your three kids doesn’t bother me
|
| You Know…
|
| I’ll give you a rose, pull out your chair when we eat
|
| Fuck I can’t, 'cos In McDonalds it’s a bolted seat
|
| Don’t matter 'cos I’m here with you
|
| With a medium value meal and a chocolate sundae too
|
| Later on I’ll come and help you sign on
|
| I’ll stare into your eyes, the housing benefits gone wrong
|
| Don’t worry baby it won’t take too long
|
| I’m just sitting, I’m just waiting, I’m just writing this song
|
| You know that time passes and I’m loving every second
|
| Buying chips for you is as lovely as I reckoned
|
| You’re Victoria Spice, I’m David Beckham
|
| If you were Del Boy, I’d be the streets of Peckham
|
| Why don’t you come to me, why can’t you see
|
| My love for you is like Marc Bolan to a tree
|
| (Dance with me!)
|
| I’ll take you for a ride, we won’t go far
|
| You’ve been running through my mind like a shining star
|
| We’ve got plenty of time to make sweet love
|
| 'cos tonight’s the night we take off the glove
|
| You know what I mean, you’re taking the pill
|
| Don’t worry — I’ll sort out the bill
|
| Supported by the DHSS
|
| With family allowance, We’ll sort out the mess
|
| What’s it gonna take, to get your attention
|
| A tracksuit and gold chain and savage erection
|
| Say no more, I can feel a tear
|
| You can smokes my fags and drinks my beer
|
| I’ll never want another like I want you
|
| To prove my love, I gotta tattoo — on my bollocks
|
| I was gonna have your name
|
| But I only got initials
|
| 'Cos I couldn’t stand the pain
|
| (My physical love!)
|
| (The emotional reality!)
|
| You’re the nicest looking woman outside of my sexmags
|
| Especially with your makeup, when your wearing your gladrags
|
| I gotta tell you, I gotta let you know
|
| I wanna buy you trips down the Mecca Bingo
|
| We’ll sit together, get four in a row
|
| And win a china dog and with it too a family show
|
| This is romance, how it should be done
|
| When it’s you and me together, it can only spell fun
|
| We’ll walk together, buy some meat in the market
|
| I’ll piss on the car, you’ll smile and park it
|
| I’ve got to tell you about something I think
|
| Without you and my chain I’m The Weakest Link
|
| So get down baby and feel my love
|
| I’ll get you drunk in Weatherspoons, Into a bush I shove
|
| I’ll have a grope and get the last bus
|
| A romantic date, just the two of us
|
| (Yeah, one time)
|
| (Electrical Love!)
|
| You and me baby
|
| …baby
|
| Tonight
|
| I’m feeling kind of
|
| Kind of sexy baby
|
| What say you put on that exercise video
|
| And I’ll watch you sweat
|
| Oh yeah!
|
| That damn video with Felicity Kendal
|
| Damn you can…
|
| And your making me feel kinda
|
| Itchy!
|
| I’m gonna go put the mask and gloves on
|
| Oh yeah
|
| Take em off baby
|
| Just take them
|
| Fuck the music baby
|
| Take them Off
|
| Just, take them off
|
| Just, oh freak this shit man
|
| Turn the fucking tape off man |