| I think of who’s to blame
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| And I bow my head in shame…
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| So you’ve grown tired of your parents always hanging around
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| They spoil your children, and having grandparents is out
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| Yes, and they raised you well, but you wished to hell they’d go away
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| So you wouldn’t have to pay for their food
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| Forget all the years when they paid for you
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| Send your mother to Shady Acres
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| Send your father to Shady Acres
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| We’ll take good care of them — you won’t be aware of them
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| Send them to Shady Acres
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| Well, if one of them’s dead, don’t worry your head, 'cause we have a matchmaker
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| They can sit down and kvetch on the rest home steps while watching Green Acres
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| If you don’t want to visit, well, there’s no requisite
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| We have foster sons and daughters to help all our boarders stop feeling blue
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| Keep the checks coming and we won’t bother you
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| Send your mother to Shady Acres
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| Send your father to Shady Acres
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| We’ll take good care of them — you won’t be aware of them
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| Send them to Shady Acres
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| Our rooms are so peaceful. |
| They’ll die while they’re sleeping
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| Yes, right in their beds
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| Now there’s no need for worry. |
| We have our own mortuary
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| And a beautiful cemetery
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| Yes, we are good people. |
| We care for the feeble
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| We’ve devoted our lives to the husbands and wives
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| Who don’t want their fathers around to be bothered
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| So send them!
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| We’re respectable and tax deductible
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| Send your mother to Shady Acres
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| Send your father to Shady Acres
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| We’ll take good care of them
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| You won’t be aware of them
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| Send them to Shady Acres
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| The Freudian doctors they tell me — «Have no fear, it’s not your fault
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| «You're growing up bad 'cause your parents did you wrong»
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| And I blame it on my parents, and the teachers in the schools
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| 'Til I remember once upon a time, they had parents too
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| I think of who’s to blame
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| And I bow my head in shame |