| Sir, I do appreciate the offer.
 | 
| I don’t believe I caught your name.
 | 
| I don’t get to get out very often.
 | 
| It’s hard to find the time to get away.
 | 
| I think it’s only fair you hear my story,
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| Before you spend three-fifty on that beer.
 | 
| I got two little kids that call me Momma.
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| My fifteen-year-old thinks that I’m a witch.
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| Between soccer practice and ballet,
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| Eminem an' Dr Dre,
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| Romance is the last thing on my list.
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| So, Frank, was it? | 
| Tell me what you think:
 | 
| Do you still want to buy me that drink?
 | 
| Frank, tell me, how d’you feel,
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| About teenage girls bein' on the pill?
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| An' do you mind Friday nights at home?
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| 'Cause, Frankie, I’ve been here before,
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| Married twice an' twice divorced.
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| An' alimony sure don’t pay the bills.
 | 
| Now that’s an awful lot of information,
 | 
| But I don’t have the time to mess around.
 | 
| 'Cause I got two little kids that call me Momma.
 | 
| An' my fifteen-year-old wants to pierce his lip.
 | 
| Between algebra an' spellin' bees,
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| An' anythin' to keep the peace,
 | 
| Romance is the last thing on my list.
 | 
| So, Frank, honey, tell me what you think:
 | 
| Do you still want to buy me that drink?
 | 
| Instrumental break.
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| I got two little kids that call me Momma.
 | 
| An' my fifteen-year-old's really a good kid.
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| I really wouldn’t blame you none,
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| If you got the urge to up an' run.
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| Is bein' «Daddy"even on your list?
 | 
| So, Frank, darlin', tell me what you think:
 | 
| Do you still want to buy me;
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| I’ll have a Miller Lite, please,
 | 
| If you still want to buy me that drink.
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| Frank, c’mon back Frank.
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| You look a little pale, Frank.
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| It was just a joke. |