| Well my wife went out of town 'bout a year or so back
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| And left me at home by myself to batch
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| And after five straight nights of TV I was ready to scream
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| So I called up this beer drinkin' buddy of mine
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| And said, «Bill, I ain’t havin' a real good time.»
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| He said, «Why don’t we go to the wrasslin' matches and let off
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| A little steam?»
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| Now I’d never seen the matches before
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| And by the time we reached that arena door
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| The crowd was already backed up plumb out into the street
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| Yeah, people were pushin' and shovin' like cattle
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| Just gettin' in line was a heck of a battle
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| We had to fight like the devil, but we finally got ring-side seats
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| Well, we bought a program as we passed through the door
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| Went to section D, seats 3 and 4
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| And about that time, the announcer stepped into the ring
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| He said, «Tonight's the greatest card ever been signed
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| We got a tag-team match that’ll blow yer mind!»
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| Then they lowered the lights and the crowd began to scream
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| He introduced the Spider from parts unknown
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| With his trusty partner, The Blue Cyclone
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| They were takin' on a team that never had been beat
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| Then the ref checked 'em over and the rules were explained
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| And somebody hollered, «the spider’s got a chain!»
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| Then some old lady with blue hair fell right out of her seat
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| Well they rang the bell and all Hell broke loose
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| My legs was shakin' like a rubber goose
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| I’d never seen anything like this, not even in the war!
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| The Cyclone put the Vulture in an airplane spin
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| Then he body slammed him, and then he did it again
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| I swear I didn’t see how that 'ol boy could take much more
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| It was right about then in the thick of things
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| That my buddy Bill threw a chair in the ring
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| And I knew we’d better be headin' for the door
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| 'Cause I saw the Cyclone lookin' at us
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| And he was rubbin' his head and he’s startin' to cuss
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| And I knew if he caught us he’d break Bill’s neck for sure
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| Well, where we parked wasn’t too far
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| And Bill ran so fast he beat me to the car
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| Locked the doors and wasn’t about to let anyone in
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| And I turned around and the Cyclone was there
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| And he said, «Hey punk, you forgot your chair!»
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| And by the look in his eyes, I knew that this was the end
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| Then he body slammed me two or three times
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| And he put his arms around me from behind
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| Then he pile-drived me right there in the hard concrete
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| Broke both my arms and three of my ribs
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| It’s the closest I’ve ever come to being killed
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| And that’s the last thing I remember 'fore he put me to sleep
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| Blue Cyclone
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| He’s the meanest rascal the ring has ever known
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| He’ll make you groan, he’ll make you moan
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| He’ll lay you prone and break your bones
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| Blue Cyclone… |