| Well here’s a little story about a woman that I knew.
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| It’s no allegory, I guarantee it’s all quite true.
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| So I expect you to believe me, though you won’t believe your ears.
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| Pay attention: listen up, though you may tremble with fear.
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| You see this woman that I spoke of had a quarrel with her lover.
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| It seems she had discovered he’d been sleeping with another
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| and it was on this very spot in June of 1987
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| fought and then he shot her and she died and went to heaven.
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| Or at least that’s what the priest said as he read the funeral rights
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| but something strange was going on amongst the tombstones that night.
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| Just when everybody thought her immortal soul was saved
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| we were quite concerned to see that she had risen from the grave
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| She said, «aloha, i’m back, I’ve got some business to do.
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| I’ll be back in my casket before the night is through,
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| but first I’ll pay a visit to a certain prison cell
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| to see my cheating husband and send him straight to hell.»
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| We were speechless as she left us to find the fiend she’d married
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| until someone said, «She's looking good for a girl that’s just been married.
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| But you know we ought to stop her. |
| Should we call up the police?»
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| I said, «She's the living dead. |
| They can do as they please.»
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| Besides, she was heading straight for the station house herself,
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| where her husband was awaiting trial in a holding cell.
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| The sergeant was surprised to see a corpse walk through the door,
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| but he said, «Sorry ma’am, visiting hours are 2: 00 to 4: 00.»
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| She laughed and said, «I'm dead and I don’t have all day,
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| so if you’d kindly stand aside and show me the way…»
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| And the Sergeant said, «Okay then, he’s in cell number six.»
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| «Besides,» he thought, «I really don’t get paid enough for this.»
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| He was sleeping on his cot when she came into the cell
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| and ever since the murder he had not slept very well.
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| When he opened up his eyes at first he thought it was a dream,
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| but she began to speak before he had a chance to scream.
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| «Aloha, I’m back, I’ve got some business to do.
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| I’ll be back in my casket before the night is through.
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| But first I’ll make you pay for your cheating and your lies
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| so honey… prepare to die.»
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| Some say it was a heart attack, some say it was a stroke,
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| and some will say the whole thing was invented just as a joke
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| but I tell you it’s a fact, it all happened right here.
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| When he saw his undead wife he simply died of fear.
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| «Aloha, I’m back, I’ve got some business to do.
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| I’ll be back in my casket before the night is through.
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| But first I’ll pay a visit to a certain prison cell
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| and see my cheating husband and send him straight to hell.» |