| Why have I called you here? |
| I guess I’ve got a thing for meetings
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| But please, take a chair, let’s get past the formal greetings
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| It’s so cold outside, let’s ponder wandering the tropics
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| And get to work tabling the topics that we’re here to discuss
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| Disgust runs through my northern veins when I consider what we’re wasting
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| think of the southern gains we could all be tasting
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| speaking of taste, waiter, another gin and tonic
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| Don’t look at me that way, Teutonic thirst is chronic and this is thirsty work.
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| Let’s not be gentle, gentleman, this project’s continental
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| Oh, don’t worry about that spill, friend, the tablecloths are rentals
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| Pass me the map and the brandy, I’ve got a pen already
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| Where’s the ruler? |
| Where’s the compass? |
| Ready, hold it steady… now,
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| will you look at that!
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| Some call us rivals, they say we’ve got interests not friends
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| Well you say tomato, and I say dividends
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| Divided we stand but united we’ll do business
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| is this civilized or what? |
| Can I get a witness, let’s sign this and light a
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| cigar!
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| Oh, far be it for me to presume or decide
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| I just called the meeting I’m not taking sides
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| Side of beef? |
| Cider? |
| More port or maybe champagne
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| from the cellar, oh waiter we’ll need you again
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| It’s best to be under the influence, oh
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| When deciding our spheres of influence, no
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| Scrambling’s for eggs not for colonization
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| Sit settle down just relax and be patient
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| Here is a piece of the pie for you, and here is a piece of the pie for you too
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| And for you, no pie, after all you came late! |
| Do you ask for a kiss on the very
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| first date
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| So lodge a complaint, it’s a hodgepodge a paint by numbers call it whatever you
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| want
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| But let’s focus on finding a final agreement, OK? |
| I’m too drunk to think any
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| more and I say
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| 50 is the magic number, wormless are the birds who slumber
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| in three months we’ll do it let’s begin |