| I met her at the Star Wars convention
|
| did I mention, she was looking for love?
|
| Had to call her bluff, lady you don’t mean how that sounded
|
| (that thousand-pound dude in the «no fat chicks» shirt’s astounded)
|
| thought she’d take it back, revoke, rewind, rescind, retract.
|
| «Ya heard me,» she said, «I'll take any man here
|
| to descend to the cave where you conquer the fear
|
| and I’ll steer you to side of the force you choose.
|
| Somebody’s man enough here — now who?»
|
| This girl, you have to understand,
|
| would not look out of place on the arm of an attractive man.
|
| So the geeks in attendance got jaws on the floor. |
| One extends his
|
| saber but he tripped on his cloak. |
| I stepped to the front then I spoke
|
| «I ain’t spittin' game, look I got a Wookiee hat on,
|
| but these guys here are used to gettin' spat on
|
| by girls, see you put 'em in shock.
|
| And this ain’t the right con' to quote Mister Spock
|
| but it’s highly illogical to me.»
|
| Girl looked me in the eye, said «Is your mind free?»
|
| 'cause I’ve got somethin' for you
|
| it is shiny, it is clean.
|
| Come on up and I’ll adore you
|
| with my yellow laser beam.
|
| Sittin' in the room upstairs,
|
| watchin' her wind up the buns in her hair
|
| I declare that I’d like to be Luke,
|
| unless that’s a bit too perverted for you.
|
| Well, I could be Jabba, a Jawa, an Ewok, when we talk «Oo la ga blee bla!»
|
| Wait — I’ve seen all the flicks, all the books that I read,
|
| I don’t recall any character tied to the bed
|
| but that’s all right,
|
| I’m 'a just pretend that I’m encased in carbonite.
|
| Why that’s a nice gold bikini, you make that?
|
| Shows off what you got, no mistake.
|
| That’s one fine view of Chewbacca you’re givin' me
|
| lower that down here, we’ll be living the
|
| linguistic lifestyle of the protocol droid.
|
| (Then comes the part where I’m not overjoyed.)
|
| «Fire!» |
| she said, and before I could scream
|
| got a steaming mouth full of yellow laser beam.
|
| 'cause I’ve got somethin' for you
|
| it is shiny, it is clean.
|
| Come on up and I’ll adore you
|
| with my yellow laser beam.
|
| 'cause I’ve got somethin' for you
|
| it is shiny, it is clean.
|
| Come on up and I’ll adore you
|
| with my yellow laser beam. |