| I’m crawling on hands and knees
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| And still my dealer won’t pay me
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| Because I smashed her masterpiece
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| The Donnizetti altarpiece
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| I’m dressed up like a clown
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| I’m smearing my blood around
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| My brushes are enormous
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| My nose is phallic like a penis
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| I’m a painter, I know how
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| I’m not a dog, but bow-wow
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| I’ll do anything, I’m like a cow
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| I’m a painter, kill me now
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| I climbed inside a tube of paint
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| They say I’m crazy because they ain’t
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| I like Sita, I like Agrippa
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| I love De Kooning and The Dripper
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| I’m a painter, I like ladies
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| They love big babies
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| I stab my eye with a knife
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| One day I’d like to try to take my life
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| I’m a painter, I know how
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| I’m not a dog, but bow-wow
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| I’ll do anything, I’m like a cow
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| I’m a painter, kill me now
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| Before I can even begin to make a picture
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| I’ve got to make love to a butcher
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| Some critics call me satyr
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| Some critics call me letcher
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| They all say I find the sublime in abjection
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| But before you kick me out, ask yourself this question
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| What is your definition of immaculate conception?
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| How will you interrogate the failure of your failures
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| Without the success of the successes of painters?
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| I’m a painter, I know how
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| I’m not a dog, but bow-wow
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| I’ll do anything, I’m like a cow
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| I’m a painter, so kill me now |