| Hey, you were standing by the screen door slamming
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| Rather clear what’s taking place
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| You were holding onto Louie
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| He was packin', he was heavy
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| That plastic handle just about to break
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| Well then you picked up Chloe
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| She knew y’all were going
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| She started barking like a tank
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| I was shocked and I was joking
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| But I will not be lonely
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| Cause I got Jim and Jack and Hank
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| Take your string bikinis, your apple martinis
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| Take what’s left there in the bank
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| Take your flat iron and your curlers
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| Your sparkling water and that damn perfume I never liked
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| Take your black Mercedes, all that stuff for ladies
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| To me you’re just a total blank
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| Go on and leave me baby, I don’t need you
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| I got Jim and Jack and Hank
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| Well now you left screaming and your tires screeching
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| That little dog right in your lap
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| I became a little sad and called up my ol' dad
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| He said, «Son you just woke me from my nap»
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| I told him you had left me
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| He said, «Son now don’t you hate me
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| You know exactly what I think
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| You know you’re better off, you can fish and you can golf
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| You still got Jim and Jack and Hank»
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| Take your string bikinis, your apple martinis
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| Take what’s left there in the bank
|
| Take your flat iron and your curlers
|
| Your sparkling water and that damn perfume I never liked
|
| Take your black Mercedes, all that stuff for ladies
|
| To me you’re just a total blank
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| Go on and leave me baby, I don’t need you
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| I got Jim and Jack and Hank, that’s right
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| So I got out the whiskey and I began to listen to the songs
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| Out in my truck you couldn’t crank
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| I started feeling empty, then again it hit me
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| I’ve got Jim and Jack and Hank
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| Take your string bikinis, your apple martinis
|
| Take what’s left there in the bank
|
| Take your flat iron and your curlers
|
| Your sparkling water and that damn perfume I never liked
|
| Take your black Mercedes, all that stuff for ladies
|
| To me you’re just a total blank
|
| Go on and leave me baby, I don’t need you
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| I got Jim and Jack and Hank
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| Yeah now, go on and leave me baby
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| I don’t need you
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| I got Jim and Jack and Hank
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| That’s right, you go ahead, I’ll be A-OK, cause I got Jose
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| Captain Morgan, not to mention ol' Old George and Tammy
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| And Loretta, Merle, Willie Nelson, Big John Cash
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| How about old Jimmy Buffett?
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| Bring him in there when that sun’s shining
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| George Strait, an old friend
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| Can’t forget Hank Jr. and all his rowdy friends
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| I’m gonna clean out the whole closet baby
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| Oh yeah
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| Goodbye |