| A cup of Fairy Ale isn’t much if not accompanied
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| By some bardic poems and songs
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| For a thousand years, the battle has been waged
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| But there’s strange tidings, the tides of war are sure to change
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| We live in sinister times, there’s an imminent fight
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| Bigger than Kyle’s mom, have you seen her behind?
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| A hero will rise, he needs to be wise
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| And Jews can’t be saviours, so it’s best he isn’t circumcised
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| There’s whisperings around these parts of a new kid
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| There’s a house on Fuller Street that they say he moved in
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| I hear tell he’s a muteling, he doesn’t speak much
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| It has nothing to do with the game’s pre-release budget
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| We need a saviour greater than the Dragonborn
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| Let me consult my magic tome stashed away within this stack of porn
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| There’s Cartman, Grand Wizard ruling Kupa Keep
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| Where you can barter, buy some armour or just find some food to eat
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| This is the tent in which we kept the Stick of Truth but see
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| Clyde had one job, and he messed it up quite stupidly
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| And so now, new kid, it’s up to you to seek
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| And return the Stick to its place to break the losing streak
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| Let us proceed in this hour of darkness
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| With the courage of dragons, and the power of fart mist
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| Through towers and arches, we scour the territories
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| Whether showers or fire pits, disembowel our enemies
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| The sourest hardships will never defeat our people
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| We keep releasing lethal farts that are without equal
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| An ancient secret: the Nagasaki Fart
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| Leave you with a bleeding nose and looking like you party hard
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| With such an epic quest, you need a band of merry men
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| To dig up buried treasure chests and see you to the very end
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| Butters is a Paladin, Stan’s a Warrior with A. D
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| Kenny is a Princess, don’t ask why, that’s how he’s rolling lately
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| And Kyle finally acknowledges his true self
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| As he transmutes into the form of a High Jew Elf
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| So go forth now, blow the war horn
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| I will stay and guard the Keep and maybe look at more porn
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| Use your power shrewdly, or never see your enemy fall
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| Because one does not simply fart on anyone’s balls
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| Battle Underpants Gnomes, Goblins and Vampire Kids
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| The town relies on you to undo that which has been did
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| In you we trust, I’ve prophesied your destiny
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| Put an end to evil in the nuts like a vasectomy |