| I sat down with her and she told me her story.
|
| I told her I loved her and I just wanted to support her through her recovery.
|
| Through conversations, I listened, and I feel like this is the best way to
|
| interpret what she told me.
|
| The devil found clever way to infiltrate and bring his manipulation;
|
| a slender blonde in a cocktail dress struggling through the intoxication
|
| brought on by the gifting of drinks until she was ready to payback in the
|
| bedroom.
|
| In the search to appease the demons in her head on a sterile surface in the
|
| bathroom.
|
| Looking into a half cracked half filthy mirror hoping she doesn’t reflect
|
| that half cracked and half filthy receding stain of a smile her mother made
|
| when she left
|
| because the promises she made to herself seem to be the hardest ones to keep
|
| and knowing she survived the last storm was no longer all she needed to be able
|
| to fall asleep.
|
| Vacant wine glasses and late night crashes symbolic of her vessel with no
|
| presentation at the pallet,
|
| but a spirit starving for remembrance some sort of legacy other than her
|
| occupation.
|
| Because her normal skin looked like silk but had been masked by vengeance.
|
| Baggage under her eyes deep within her overcompensating lies and all she saw
|
| when she gazed into the endless skies was regret from that manipulation.
|
| This life of sleeping through the static of practice for the everlasting rush
|
| she hoped for,
|
| she was somewhat ecstatic, but not for the first time.
|
| Because this was reminiscent of those times that she would have those late
|
| night drives;
|
| Those moments when she would look back and say «How did I get here?»
|
| Those moments when she would look at old childhood photos and say «How did that
|
| child grow up to be like this?»
|
| When did I dismiss the morals that I subscribed to? |
| I don’t know what to do.
|
| And she looks at photos of her beautiful mother in her youth and is envious of
|
| that smile she had when she was twenty-two.
|
| And she wishes she could say the same for herself but she’s lived in a
|
| self-perpetuated hell.
|
| Because she took the literal stains and the literal scars and turned them into
|
| the emotional drain and then she fell apart.
|
| And I’ve never really been one for taking second chances on times that I’ve
|
| been broken
|
| but sometimes forgiveness needs to be put in place for someone to actually grow
|
| from these negative emotions,
|
| and all that constructive use of the pain that’s thrown at you is the only way
|
| to find refuge.
|
| So I’m gonna tell you this darling, every time you tell yourself that you’re
|
| not worth it,
|
| every time you tell yourself that you’re worthless, you’re being lied to.
|
| And in that case, the liar is you. |