| Jesus was an atheist, he was a friend of mine
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| We hooked up in temple, back in Roman Palestine
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| We became friends, it was the best of both worlds
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| I was good at stealin' silver, he was good at pullin' girls
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| He said they’re going to kill me, when we go out smokin'
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| I thought he meant the cigarettes, but Jesus wasn’t jokin'
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| Mary was a pragmatist, and virgin rolled in one
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| One day she said to Joseph, «Joe, I think the time has come
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| Your boy needs to get a job, try the laundromat»
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| Joseph said, «He ain’t my boy, I think we settled that»
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| Mary said something about semantics with a smile
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| Joe said, «I'm going drinkin', I’ll be back in a little while»
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| I heard somebody say Jesus was a Capricorn
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| Jesus told me once, on the day he was born
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| A giant super nova exploded in the sky
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| He said he didn’t know, what it was supposed to signify
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| I lost touch with him, and he lost touch with me
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| The next thing I remember, he was big in Galilee
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| We were walkin' in the desert trading big hits from a bong
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| They said it was 40 days, it didn’t seem that long
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| I was trying to talk him out of such a pointless sacrifice
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| He said it was the only way to get to paradise
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| I said, «You might be high», he said I was mistaken
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| But watching him die was truly heartbreakin'
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| Jesus descended, I guess you’d call it that
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| I’m down here, baby, what the hell you lookin' at?
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| I sometimes wonder if we’d stay friends
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| How am I to change the way this party ends?
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| I know you all believe that Jesus was divine
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| Jesus was an atheist, he was a friend of mine |