| It was a beautiful day
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| And everyone was excited
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| There was a picnic and
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| The whole Nintendo crew was invited
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| Luigi stood up and said
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| Listen everyone, I love you guys
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| You are my best friends in the world
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| You make me glad to be alive!
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| Excuse me, hi there
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| I’m the announcer for a fun new family game
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| It’s called Super Smash Brothers!
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| That sounds nice, how do we play?
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| Well first I’m gonna warp you
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| Into a world of hate and war
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| Where you’ll assault everyone
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| You have ever known and loved before
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| I don’t think I wanna do that
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| Oh, come on, it’ll be a bash
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| Now grab all of your little friends
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| 'Cause it is time for us to motherfucking Smash!
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| Whoa! |
| (wait, no) Let’s go!
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| Kick the shit out of your friends (that is not cool)
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| Have a blast as you beat their ass
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| And then they’re forced to clap for you at the end
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| 3, 2, 1, Smash!
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| Mario, (hey, bro-AGH!) your chode
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| Has been destroyed 200% (I needed that chode!)
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| Can’t we all just get along?
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| Abso-fucking-lutely not, you gotta Smash!
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| The park was destroyed
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| Hundreds of bystanders dead
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| Kirby held Donkey Kong captive
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| In his huge, disgusting head
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| Fox said, «Hey Mario, stop crying
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| Just psyche up and fight instead!»
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| I’m Luigi, all these bloodstains
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| Make my overalls look red!
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| Sonic looked tough
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| 'Til Link kicked him in the stuff
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| The madness of cold-blooded murder’d
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| Overtaken Jigglypuff
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| He blasted Bowser to infinity
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| With one massive-ass hit
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| Then he took three Falcon Punches
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| Like it wasn’t even shit!
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| Is the time almost over?
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| I can’t tell, my face is mashed
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| Don’t worry, Luigi, the clock says
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| 4, 3, 2 (oh no…), 1, Smash!
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| Whoa! |
| (this blows) You know
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| When Mario and Peach team up
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| You are screwed (you're my own brother!)
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| Pikachu’s way less fucking cute
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| When he is trying to electrocute you (Pika-pi!)
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| Samus (whaddya want?)
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| Is pissed you got a small amount
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| Of dirt on her suit (oh, you’re dead, bitch!)
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| That is the last god damn straw!
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| Oh shit I think Luigi’s gonna fucking Smash!
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| Hey, look at me now!
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| I’m beating up friends!
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| I have no regrets
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| This is the fucking best
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| Yes, I can see now
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| We’re having fun in the end
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| Now it all makes sense
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| I guess just because we smash each other, doesn’t mean we’re not brothers
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| Ahh, Mario, you suck!
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| Bite me! |