| «Aw yeah
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| It’s me, Link again, baby
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| That’s right I’m back!
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| Last time I quested for Zelda I got a little off track
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| But now my confidence is at an all-time high
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| Because Navi just anointed me the 'Hero of Rhyme!'»
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| «I said the 'Hero of Time!'»
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| That’s right the Hero of Rhyme!
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| I don’t need no sword or shield
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| I’m gonna be just fine
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| Hey, listen I think—
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| Shh
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| I’ve got my beats and jams!
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| I’m taking Ganon down now
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| No thanks to you, Old Man!
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| What?!
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| Link, thank God you’re here, the countryside is terrified and shocked!
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| We’re overrun with darknuts, peahats, leevers, gels, and octoroks!
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| You’re our hero of the ages with a sword and helping hand!
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| We really need your skills!
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| Oh you need my skills?
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| Aw damn!
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| Moblins: no problem and octoroks don’t know poppycock!
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| Gotta get that Triforce tomorrow, but first I gotta do my pop and lock!
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| When I see an iron knuckle I’mma buckle up my pants
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| 'Cause those bitches don’t fuck around when I kick on my Z-target dance!
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| But see, with me, I’ve gotta find a different way to defeat
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| Don’t use my sword and shield but I know this flow is good enough to kill
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| The Hylian people rejoice: 'cause your hero is the illest motherfuckin' rapper
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| with the illest fuckin' voice!
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| How was that?
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| Those raps do anything for you?
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| Oh, god, everyone is dead!
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| Moving right along to Ganon’s underground lair
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| Everything’s on fire!
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| Don’t worry, I’m not scared
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| I’ll save all of Hyrule with the tastiest rhymes I can spit
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| Now watch and learn, Navi!
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| You’re a stupid piece of shit!
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| Wanna go Ganon? |
| Get your pig-ass over here and try me!
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| Just ignore the burning hellscape that’s collapsing in behind me
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| You have never seen a rapper close to my skills whatsoever!
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| Oh I see you brought a giant glowing sword
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| That’s cool, whatever
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| 'Cause, hey!
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| I’m gonna be the last thing you see when you lose against me here in the ruins
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| of the city
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| Yeah, ah! |
| No better bigger battle than here 'cause by the time you swing your
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| sword I’m gonna—
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| Oh!
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| Whoa
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| Chill out!
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| Gotta fill out this order form for a partner who can, maybe, I don’t know,
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| come out and help me out in a real bout!
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| Hey listen, Link!
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| Your rapping doesn’t stink, but Ganon’s standing right there with a giant sword—
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| Oh
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| Ooh
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| Shh
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| Oh |