| Little cutie said, 'come on, let’s do a shot' | 
| For a second there I looked at her and thought, 'why not?' | 
| I guess she don’t know what everybody knows in here | 
| I said, 'thanks but no thanks, I think I’ll just stick with beer' | 
| 'Cause whiskey and I, we go way back | 
| That first half pint in a paper sack | 
| It ain’t been a time we were carrying on | 
| With some kind of something that could go wrong | 
| Hard as I try again and again | 
| Gotta face the facts, we can’t be friends | 
| Whiskey and I, we don’t get along | 
| All I know is there’s some things you just don’t mix | 
| I’m just saying nothing good could come from this | 
| When that first shot, it turns into three or four | 
| Better hide the women, pull the shade and lock the doors | 
| 'Cause whiskey and I, we go way back | 
| That first half pint in a paper sack | 
| It ain’t been a time we were carrying on | 
| With some kind of something that could go wrong | 
| Hard as I try again and again | 
| Gotta face the facts, we can’t be friends | 
| Whiskey and I, we don’t get along | 
| Much as I hate to say it | 
| Gotta keep it separated | 
| Can’t leave the two of us alone | 
| 'Cause whiskey and I, we go way back | 
| That first half pint in a paper sack | 
| It ain’t been a time we were carrying on | 
| With some kind of something that could go wrong | 
| Hard as I try again and again | 
| Gotta face the facts, we can’t be friends | 
| Whiskey and I, we don’t get along | 
| Hard as I try again and again | 
| Gotta face the facts, we can’t be friends | 
| Whiskey and I, we don’t get along |