| There’ll be lots of drinking in Heaven
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| Smoking and eating and sex
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| What you didn’t do in this life, bad for you
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| Will be totally cool in the next
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| In Heaven there’ll be beer for breakfast
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| At lunch it’s tequila and wine
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| And the soup served with dinner is made with paint thinner
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| And the morning hereafter feels fine, Oh…
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| Good behavior will get you to heaven
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| It’s Beulah Land, that’s where you’re bound
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| But nobody makes nice up there in paradise
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| When you get up there then you get down
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| And the angels have ashtrays in Heaven
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| Saint Peter puffs on a cigar
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| That’s right smoking’s allowed, it’s what makes all those clouds
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| And you don’t have to sit at the bar, Oh…
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| And they eat all day long up in Heaven
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| And nobody ever gets fat
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| No, not one calorie and the ice cream is free
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| It comes in a pint, quart, or a vat
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| And it’s just one big orgy in Heaven
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| And nobody ever says «no»
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| And it’s front, sideways, back, and you start to lose track
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| But you don’t lose your get up and go, Oh…
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| There’ll be lots of drinking in Heaven
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| Smoking and eating and sex
|
| What you didn’t do in this life, bad for you
|
| Will be totally cool in the next
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| In Heaven there’ll be beer for breakfast
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| At lunch it’s Sambuca and wine
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| The gazpacho with dinner is made with paint thinner
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| And the morning hereafter feels fine! |