| Actually, I was never conceived
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| And I don’t expect to be believed
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| But I’ve found my mouth stitched shut with glossy pink thread
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| And when I think of the lie filled love-life that I’ve led…
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| I row boats all day with Karl, Vlad, and E. Leon
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| My tongue made of ivory, my teeth are all gone
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| The bones in my face they weren’t here all along
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| I’m straight and I love your coffee cake!
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| I found a lost puppy and I took him home
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| Since then he’s agreed to leave me alone
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| For over a month 'cause I’m spelling bee queen
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| Let me tell you more, you’ll see what I mean
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| I took a sealion by the waist and I twisted it
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| Then I kiss-ed it. |
| It was mossy and chaste
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| That is funny, isn’t it?
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| Not to tell you would be such a waste
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| Can’t you see me?
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| I am your long lost best friend
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| Please believe me
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| All these things have happened
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| I went for a ride on the carousel
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| I was on a yellow horse, right behind the swan
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| In the swan, a man and a woman they were doing it
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| I didn’t want to look. |
| I wished I’d brought a book
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| I looked down at the chip in my horse’s red mane
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| He had a high, soft, beautiful voice
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| I got down and ran around, and then I asked him his name
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| He said out loud, he said it was «First Choice»
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| Yes Mom, I’m still a virgin
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| And you are Marilyn Monroe
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| When I was a little girl, we grew wings and flew under the sea
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| To see my daddy, Mr. Edgar Allen Poe
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| Oh, I would crawl into the furnace to take a warm nap
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| On the cast-iron lap of Walt Disney
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| Then we’d go out for a swim in the Sea of Mercury
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| I never thanked him for what he did for me
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| Can’t you see me?
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| I am your long lost best friend
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| Please believe me
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| All these things have happened |