| When hip-hops selling perfume and boy bands selling grief
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| The blues men market life insurance, just one foot underneath
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| Jazz has come to nothing but transparent handkerchief
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| Everything is anything to anyone
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| The butcher sells you pantyhose, the supermarket sells you land
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| The newsreader likes to read the news but he’s also in a band
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| And feminism’s fast asleep with a cock in either hand
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| Everything is anything to anyone
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| Modern, modern man is a man of many mates
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| So we decorate, we imitate, we duplicate our greats
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| It’s the sound of octopuses giving infinite high-eights
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| Everybody’s business is show business
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| The newsagent sells you holidays, the travel shop sells you sand
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| The local vicar saves your soul but he also saves the damned
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| Nothing’s black and white no more, just permanently tanned
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| Everything is anything to anyone
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| Locate, locate, locate, locate the victim’s house
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| Swap the wives and take their lives and turn them inside out
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| Nothing left in closet, nothing left in doubt
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| Everything is anything to anyone
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| Modern, modern woman’s juggling many knives
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| Duplicating, imitating other people’s lives
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| To the sound of a million whistling wolves from the grounds of a thousand
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| building sites
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| Everybody’s business is show business
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| And the thin are getting thinner, the big are getting bigger
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| Till five and seventy-five year olds worry 'bout their figure
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| The big are getting bigger, the thin are getting thinner
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| Till everyone’s looking, everyone’s cooking everyone else’s dinner
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| And the indoors want you, Oliver; |
| the outdoors want you, Oddie
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| The bank, they want a Tex or Hank; |
| the mic wants Pavarotti
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| Kitchen, garden, wardrobe, property in the sun
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| Everything is anything to anyone
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| And this YourSpace, Myspace, their big mouth
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| Turns everything outside inside out
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| And YourTube, MyTube, everybody’s spout
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| Everything is anything and owt is fucking nowt
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| Modern, modern children, modern girls and boys
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| Leaving all their nursery rhymes, ignoring all their toys
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| It’s the sound of shoot-'em-up making all the fucking noise
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| Every kid’s business is his own business
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| And the thin are getting thinner, the big are getting bigger
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| Till five and seventy-five year olds worry 'bout their figure
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| The big are getting bigger, the thin are getting thinner
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| Till everyone’s looking, everyone’s cooking everyone else’s dinner
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| And we shave our heads to make us look thin
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| Till the whole fucking Earth’s this fat, bald skin
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| Till the fitness instructors and the owners of the gym
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| Are «Seig Heil"ing down from the balcony of the trim
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| And the neighbour of the chauffeur of the brother of the act
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| Is helping selling papers by omitting just one fact
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| That he doesn’t really know them but what he knows for sure
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| Is everybody’s hands are in everyone else’s knicker drawer
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| With Easter eggs in January, Christmas lights in June
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| Anything that’s barely over’s coming back real soon
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| Ah, some folk call it gluttony, some folk call it greed
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| It’s just a million fucking pigeons to a single grain of seed
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| And the thin are getting thinner, the big are getting bigger
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| Till five and seventy-five year olds worry 'bout their figure
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| The big are getting bigger, the thin are getting thinner
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| Till everyone’s looking, everyone’s cooking everyone else’s dinner
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| Everybody’s business is show business… |