| Your love for me is not debatable
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| Your sexual appetite’s insatiable
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| You never ever make me wait-able
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| Delectable, inflatable you
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| You don’t have problems with your weight at all
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| You never steal food off my plate at all
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| I never have to masturbate at all
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| Unstoppable, inflatable you
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| You never seem to menstruate at all
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| So you’re not angry when I’m late at all
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| I feel permanently felatable
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| Unpoppable, inflatable you
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| With you in my arms I feel we could just fly away
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| With the right kind of gas, I might even try it some day
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| In this ocean of life I’m never afraid I might drown
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| We could just float forever, whatever the weather
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| Whenever my inflatable lover’s around
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| Your thighs and buttocks are so holdable
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| You always do just what you’re told-able
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| And if we argue, you’re just foldable
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| Controllable, consolable you
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| My mates all reckon you are suitable
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| I took you 'round to watch the football
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| And Steve and Gary said you’re rootable
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| Refutable, commutable you
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| You’re never sensitive or tickly
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| When I rub you, my skin goes prickly
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| It’s known as static electricity
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| Felicity, when I’m kissing you
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| Your skin is so smooth — I couldn’t afford you with hair
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| You have all the holes real girls have got, plus one for the air
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| Your problems are simple, I don’t need my Masters in Psych
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| To know if you get down, I just perk you right up
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| With a couple of squirts with the pump of my bike
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| You never wake up when I snore at all
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| A trait which I find quite adorable
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| You have a box and you are storable
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| Ignorable, back-doorable you
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| Any sexual position’s feasible
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| Although you don’t bend at the knees at all
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| Your hooters are so firm and squeezable
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| Increasable, uncreasable you
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| You don’t complain about my hairy back
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| Or 'bout the inches that downstairs I lack
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| You’re not disgusted by my furry crack
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| Burt Bacharach… Jack Kerouac… ooh
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| Now, birth control is not an issue
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| I clean it all off with a…
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| I bet my jealous friends all wish you
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| Were insatiably, inflatably theirs
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| Don’t let me down
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| Don’t let me down
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| Don’t let me down
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| And I won’t let you down |